Unwanted Tan Lines

Back in March I proactively (or some may call it insanely) went ahead and ordered a bandeau bikini that would be my "go to" suit for the season.  Seeing as my dress is strapless, I wasn't about to take any chances.  So all freakin' summer I have worn the same boring suit (which for those of you who don't know me I have a CRAZY obsession with swimsuits and seeing as I usually change suits from "morning suit" to "after lunch suit" this has been a difficult task for me).  Nevertheless, up until Sunday, it had paid off beautifully as  I had a glowing tan with not a hint of tan lines showing above the chest.   

So this past Sunday, I had the unfortunate idea to take advantage of the beautiful weather (which turned out to not be beautiful at all and in fact was so disgustingly hot that i wanted to vomit) and go for a long walk with Josh to the tennis courts, from there play a blissful game or 2 and then proceed to make our way home while possibly stopping for a bite to eat.  Seems wonderful right? WRONG!  First of all, the second we stepped outside I began to sweat.  Mind you we still had our "long walk" ahead of us as well as some stupid tennis to play.  Trying to stay positive, I didn't complain and kept on trucking.  Upon reaching the tennis courts I am completely drenched and can't breathe due to the code red smog alert (that's Atlanta for ya!).    However, again thinking positive, I proceed onto the court with a smile on my face.  So, about half way through our "death match" (as I am now calling it seeing as I had to remind my lovely fiance that if he truly wanted to marry me in 3 weeks he might NOT want to kill me on the tennis court) I have the devastating realization that I forgot to put on sunscreen!  

Long story short, we quickly wrap up our game, walk "just up the street" (3 miles) to grab lunch and proceed home.  At this point, I look as though I have just bathed in my own sweat, I have a terrible migraine, and I am complaining my ass off!  To top if off I immediately go into the bathroom take off my sports bra tank top and there in the mirror, staring me in the face are the 2 widest, thickest, fastest sports bra tan lines you have EVER seen.  Without a peep, I put my shirt back on, walked (ran) downstairs and proceeded to pour the biggest Sweet Tea Vodka cocktail one has ever seen.