This is my final sendoff. 4 days from now I will be preparing to take the plunge and walk down the aisle. This entire planning process has been a whirlwind, and in the end I have many stories and memories that I will always cherish. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and share in my insanity.
Murphy's Law states "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". So, based off this definition, I have decided that I should just call of my wedding now. I mean, seriously, I'm doomed. Not only am I a Murphy, but my oh so wonderful (non-related I swear) fiance is also a Murphy. And when you have Murphy + Murphy + Wedding the solution = DOOMED.
I was recently reminded of this law. Let me preface this by saying that I am a weather freak. I enjoy watching the weather, knowing what the weather is going to be, and even tuning into the weather channel every now and then. So, when we decided the date we were going to get married on, I immediately pulled up the "wedding planner" on weather.com to look at the history of the weather on August 29th. I was instantly overcome with a sense of calm when the weather tracker showed me that there has been 0% rain for the past 4 YEARS on August 29th in Charleston.
Now, flash forward to yesterday when I was finally within the 10 day forecast of our wedding date (secretly I have been looking forward to this moment almost as much as my wedding day) and was able to look up the actual forecast for that day. I have to say, my heart was racing when I logged on and began to scroll down to the date that read August 29, 2009. All of the sudden, there is was like a bright light: Sunny, 84 and only 20% chance of rain. BEAUTIFUL! I couldn't believe it! Murphy's Law (at least for that day) was no where in sight.
So, today (as I plan to do everyday until THE DAY), I woke up and the first thing I did was log onto weather.com to give me that little jolt of excitement I knew would follow when i saw "84, Sunny and 20% chance of rain" staring back at me. HOWEVER, in the matter of 18 hours, fate realized that mine and my future's husband's last name was Murphy and thought "well, they can't have beautiful weather on their big day. Murphy's law says no way." So what did I see when i logged on? "CHANCE OF THUNDERSTORMS 60%. DEVELOPING LATER IN THE AFTERNOON". Well awesome. The description might as well said: "there will definitely be rain on your wedding day" because that is how I read it in my head. I proceeded to wake Josh up and proclaim "Babe, I know this really sucks, but it will be pouring at our wedding".
Insane, I know, but for some reason I am convinced this will be the case. Maybe it is because I never read "The Secret" or maybe it's because I think that if I believe the worst case scenario to be true, then I can only be happily surprised on my wedding day, right?! So, for now, I've decided that there will be torrential downpours during my wedding and that the oh so beautiful ceremony that is supposed to happen outside will surely be moved into a confined space inside.
Back in March I proactively (or some may call it insanely) went ahead and ordered a bandeau bikini that would be my "go to" suit for the season. Seeing as my dress is strapless, I wasn't about to take any chances. So all freakin' summer I have worn the same boring suit (which for those of you who don't know me I have a CRAZY obsession with swimsuits and seeing as I usually change suits from "morning suit" to "after lunch suit" this has been a difficult task for me). Nevertheless, up until Sunday, it had paid off beautifully as I had a glowing tan with not a hint of tan lines showing above the chest.
So this past Sunday, I had the unfortunate idea to take advantage of the beautiful weather (which turned out to not be beautiful at all and in fact was so disgustingly hot that i wanted to vomit) and go for a long walk with Josh to the tennis courts, from there play a blissful game or 2 and then proceed to make our way home while possibly stopping for a bite to eat. Seems wonderful right? WRONG! First of all, the second we stepped outside I began to sweat. Mind you we still had our "long walk" ahead of us as well as some stupid tennis to play. Trying to stay positive, I didn't complain and kept on trucking. Upon reaching the tennis courts I am completely drenched and can't breathe due to the code red smog alert (that's Atlanta for ya!). However, again thinking positive, I proceed onto the court with a smile on my face. So, about half way through our "death match" (as I am now calling it seeing as I had to remind my lovely fiance that if he truly wanted to marry me in 3 weeks he might NOT want to kill me on the tennis court) I have the devastating realization that I forgot to put on sunscreen!
Long story short, we quickly wrap up our game, walk "just up the street" (3 miles) to grab lunch and proceed home. At this point, I look as though I have just bathed in my own sweat, I have a terrible migraine, and I am complaining my ass off! To top if off I immediately go into the bathroom take off my sports bra tank top and there in the mirror, staring me in the face are the 2 widest, thickest, fastest sports bra tan lines you have EVER seen. Without a peep, I put my shirt back on, walked (ran) downstairs and proceeded to pour the biggest Sweet Tea Vodka cocktail one has ever seen.
Alright, common, admit it. I know you guys have been biting your nails and fretting over whether or not I will fit into the dress. So for you all you worry-warts out there who haven't slept in a week....IT FITS! That's right. I had my final FINAL dress fitting yesterday. I had a couple of nervous moments when, for instance, the helper woman came over to "hook and eye" me and said "Wait, wasn't she supposed to add an extra layer to help fasten this". And in my head I thought OH GREAT, here we go again. But luckily for my self esteem, it was just that the woman didn't know what the heck she was doing and clearly had no opposable thumbs because good 'ole AL came over and immediately hooked me up and there I was standing in front of the mirror looking at my perfectly fit wedding gown and glowing like a bride about to walk down the aisle.
Yesterday Josh and I had a very interesting lunch date to say the least.
Let me preface it by saying a few weeks ago we got a sad call from my minster explaining that unfortunately he has to have back surgery ASAP and will be out for 6 weeks. So seeing as our wedding is 3 weeks away, well, you can do the math. Immediately he assured us that he has a replacement on hold for us who will be fabulous and perhaps "even better" than he....(yeah, right. My minister is the bomb-diggity and of all the things I envisioned on my wedding day, he was always top of my list). As he is speaking to me I am calmly reminding myself to breathe and remember that this is not the end of the world and that there must still be a GOD because after all, there is still ice-cream and cupcakes in this world. So after hours of feeling like this would ONLY happen to me, I snapped out of it and accepted the fact that there could be worse things that could have happened (i.e. - Josh decides that this whole marriage thing just wasn't right for him after all).
So that leads me right up to yesterday, where we had a lunch scheduled to meet with our new minister to make sure that everything is Kosher (no pun intended) for the big day. Immediately we get our food and sit down and Zach begins to say a prayer:
Zach: "Let us pray......yadda yadda yadda....in Jesus Christ we pray. Amen"
Well shit. This is off to a great start. As Zach looks up, he immediately realizes that the JEWISH groom who is sitting directly across from him has a nervous smile on his face. And then it hits him
Zach: "Oh crap! I'm so sorry. I totally forgot that you don't believe in Jesus and all"
Josh: "That's OK. No big deal" (although I'm sure at this point his uneasiness that was put to rest after meeting with MY best in the world minister weeks prior has now resurfaced and is about to boil over)
Zach: "I'm working on that. And I will make a conscious effort to TRY not to speak about the Trinity and Jesus during your ceremony"
Josh: "Yeah, that would be good"
So needless to say we were off to a good start. The rest of the lunch was fine (with the exception of the nervous tension in the air) and while still a bit uneasy I think in the end, everything will work out. Josh put our feelings into words best when on the way out door he turns to me and whispers "Do you think I should email him later today to remind him that we would appreciate only blessings and vows in the name of God?"
So I went for what I thought was my final dress fitting today. Yes, I realize scheduling my appointment only a few short days after my bachelorette party AND while its my time of the month may not be the best combination, but hey I had been thinking skinny thoughts all day so I thought I was in the clear.
I arrive at the store (again, thinking skinny), and head on back to the alterations department. As they bring the dress out I immediately regret having that delicious piece of strawberry shortcake last night. I proceed to step into the dress and pull it up. What happens next is best described in dialogue:
Alterations lady (From here on out I'll refer to her as AL for abreving reasons): "Turn around, let me have a look at the corset".
As I turn around I only pray that it was my short arms that were the reason I couldn't come close to fastening the corset myself.
Me: "Um, Ok."
Me: "What? Did I lose so much weight that now you have to sew in an extra hook and eye on the inner side of the corset?"
AL: "NO! I can't even fasten the outer buttons"
Hmm...that's strange. I swear I thought skinny all day
AL: "Have you lost ANY weight?!"
Me: "Well, I, er, um.....no"
AL: "What have you been eating then?"
Immediately I flash back to 2AM Saturday night while stuffing my face with an oversized checkers cheeseburger and fries. As I contemplated telling the truth or lying and saying "salads", my oh so helpful sister chimes in with a chuckle and says "Chocolate!"
Great. Thanks Molly. My secret is officially out. No, I have NOT been a crazy bride watching everything I eat. Sure, I like to talk about how I can't eat this or I shouldn't eat that, but in the end when a beautiful piece of chocolate chip cookie cake is placed in front of my face I'm going to have a piece. And when I finish that piece, I'll go back for seconds.
Ok, so I am officially getting married one month from today (heavy breathing), which is why I've decided to blog for the remainder of my journey. Overall, I would consider myself as being fairly sane during this entire process. In fact, all seemed peachy and easy until about a month ago when I was introduced to the wonderful world of rentals....
Before I go any further I would like to say that I am getting married in Charleston which apparently is the number 2 place in the U.S. to get married behind (you guessed it) Vegas. That said, all prices are so inflated in Charleston that even a freaking tent could potentially send you into bankruptcy for years to come. So, back to my story....about a month ago my fiance and I were in Charleston going over some plans with our planner. We had a full day planned which ended at the "rentals" facility. After stepping inside, both Josh and I were overcome and wowed at the size of the place. There were pillows, plates, glassware, silver, anything and everything you've ever wanted to rent (or own for that matter) in one place. We started with plates "this one is $.10 a plate, and this china is $1.00 a plate." Um, no question..."we'll take the "chipper chicken" $.10 white plates please." Done. Next item, glassware. Again, "this one is $.10 a glass or this one is $.75 a glass". Well who the heck is going to care what the glass looks like, as long as it is getting alcohol into their body..."we'll take the $.10 glasses". Done. Now onto the chairs (insert Jaws type music here). It started once again as the previous two items with "this chair is $1.50 a piece". Ok, not bad and definitely affordable. Next I was fully expecting to see the same sort of chair with maybe a cushion that added to the pricing, but what happened next is hard for me to describe. Basically our planner held up the most beautiful looking chair that seemed to glisten in the light. It was elegant, classy, and had Meghan Murphy written all over it. Then the words I will never forget, "and this chair is $8.50 a chair". WHAT?! $8.50 for one measly chair! I mean common, besides being gorgeous and perfect what did they have that the others didn't? I seriously felt as though something inside me had died and for what....a CHAIR?! That is when I knew that I was just as crazy as the next bridezilla.
Well, in the end, I went with the $1.50 chairs. I often still dream about the good chairs and whenever I pass by a venue or wedding I find myself peeking in to see if they have the good chairs. And 9 times out of 10, they do.